Lonesome is on the Shelf

This song by Ingrid Michaelson "You and I" reminds me so much of my relationship with Mike. I love it when that happens! I love that when I listen to love songs I still think of my husband and the wonderful, very unique relationship we have. When they sing of fun, memories, laughter, passion, newness, and love, the man I have been married to for 18 years still comes to my mind. I wish this and more for all of you who are married. It is a gift that I am so very thankful for.

Don't you worry, there my honey
we might not have any money,
but we've got our love to pay the bills.
Maybe I think you're cute and funny
Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you
if you know what I mean.
You might be a bit confused
and you might be a little bit bruised
but baby how we spoon like no one else.
So I will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

Two Types of Sunshine

There are two types of sunshine. There are those days that you know ahead of time that the forecast calls for a warm bright day, and then there are those days that it's a beautiful surprise. This picture represents both of those for me. One was in the forecast and the other was a warm ball of light dropped unexpectedly in our midst. "You will never regret obeying God," is what a friend said to my husband one day, and I must say in all areas of my life that is true. I have never regretted obeying God. So, if there is a tugging, pulling, aching, pushing, or gentle whisper telling you to do something, even something life changing, get counsel, but remember... HOPE does not disappoint us!

Heavens Peace

"Jesus was sleeping in the middle of a life-threatening storm. The disciples woke Him because they were afraid of dying. He exercised authority and released peace over the storm. You only have authority over the storm you can sleep in. If I am filled with anxiety over any given situation, it becomes hard for me to release peace - because I can only give what I have. Authority functions from heavens peace." ~Bill Johnson, When Heaven Invades Earth

Spin the plates you want to spin...

I was talking with a dear friend yesterday, about a dream she had, and we began to talk about what it means to live life in the defensive and what that looks like in a person with purpose. I couldn't get that word out of my head and I kept wanting to connect it with that word "intentions." Why? Well, it took awhile, because my brain works backwards, but I began to see the message that was there for my friend and I. It's hard to examine a word without exploring its meaning and the meaning of it's opposite, so I did that. When we speak of living in the defensive, what are we saying? Defensive means: Excessively concerned with the guarding against the real or imagined threat of criticism, injury of one's ego, or exposure of ones shortcomings. Wow! Think of the energy it takes to keep this up on a daily basis, much less just every now and then? What a way for me to spin my wheels and never really get anywhere. What a way to never take back what the devil has stolen from myself and my loved ones. What a way to completely miss God's will for my life in the day to day. How selfish to live life in the defensive and make life all about me and guarding my pride. When our energy is wasted on just dodging the bullets, running from life's struggles, and just protecting myself it can't be focused on advancing and doing God's will, and most of all, making a difference. So, if living in the defensive shouldn't be my focus, what should be? I think this is where the word "intentions" come in. When we are no longer living in the defensive, we are living with intention. We are not just spinning random plates, we are choosing the plates we spin, and doing it with joy and purpose. We are not just running from hard times, we are embracing life and choosing to serve God and others in the middle of pain. We are not just reacting, but we are acting first, choosing to be in charge of the direction life takes us. Intention means: meaning, significance, or purpose. So YES! I want to live with meaning, significance, and purpose...daily! I don't want to live life guarding myself, being fearful, and in pride. Offensive means: to position myself, making an aggressive attack. That's how I want to live life. Being in a place where I POSITION MYSELF, the enemy nor sin tells me where to go and how to spend my time. So there ya have it! In writing this I figured out how defensive and intentions went together. Sorry you had to endure the thought-trail! :) Thanks for reading how my brain works backwards. I hope I can get this truth in my soul (mind, will, emotions) and walk it out. I pray you and I can live with purpose, significance, and meaning. Spin the plates God wants you to spin, the plates you want to spin; not the plates that distraction throws at you. It's a waste of time!

18 years...It's the daily days that get us through the years!

18 years! I have been married 18 years! I feel like it has been forever and just yesterday all at the same time. When I think back on all the reasons I fell in love with Mike, they are the same reasons I have stayed in love with Mike. But, through the years I have gathered new reasons! It's not reasons you would think, but things that keep a relationship strong, like:

I love how he gets in tickle fights with the kids.

I love that he knows what I'm thinking by looking at my face.

I like that if i say something mean, he actually gets his feelings hurt.

I love that he puts socks on my cold feet at night.

I love that tucking me in at night is still very important for him.

I love that his favorite place to be is home.

I love that he thinks about me when we are apart.

I love that he records shows that he knows I will like.

I love that he watches chick flicks with me.

He remembers when I say I like something.

The kids and I hear "i love you" from him, often.

He knows my tickle spots.

We watch shows together, and we watch shows apart...(two TVs)

He knows how I like my coffee.

He cuddles the kids and they seek his affection.

I love that we both laughed when that old lady fell...(she was fine people!)

He makes me laugh at things that are so not funny.

I love that he watches annoying kid shows with the kids...and knows the songs!

I love that he is a pastor who waits tables and delivers pizza.

He puts up with my temperature changes.

He says good things about me when I'm not there.

He forgives easy.

He tries to hide feeding the kids cereal for dinner.

He knows when I'm crying during a movie.

He does the laundry.

He wants to be with me.

He dances silly dances for me only.

He will change his shirt when i say, "NO!"

It's important for him to surprise me.

We talk, and laugh, and it's not always about the kids.

These are the things that have gotten us through 18 years, and these things will move us forward. Yes, we have been through hard times. Yes, we have hard times yet to come. One thing I know is that it's the little things that bring joy, laughter, and strength to our daily days....and it's the daily days that get us through the years! I love you Michael Simmons and I am ready for the next 18!

Tenacity

When everyone and everything speaks doubt, find your tenacity.

I'm just saying!

Shanen has this thing with "the old green house" in Wilmington that she used to live in. Just ask Sean, Mike, the kids...it's crazy, and a big ordeal everytime we pass it! Anyway, I was driving by that house, while looking at it, and noticed the car veering to the left. When I'm driving and I look to the right or the left, the car tends to go that way. So, I got to thinking: It's to no surprise that we go in the direction that our eyes are looking, even if it's not the intended direction! .....I'm just saying! :)

"Let me just see things from where You're sittin."

My husband was telling me about a bad day he had. It wasn't like anything really bad happened... well at least not that day, but it was one of those days that your mind decides to keep you sad. Have you ever had a day where your mind decides to keep you sad? I have. He was telling me of the battle within to "stay positive, look at the bright side, believe the best, focus on the future, trust God," you know...all those things that we tell ourselves and others tell us. Well, he mentioned one thing he said to God, in the struggle, that really stuck out to me. In all his thoughts, he told God, "Let me just see things from where you're sittin." I just couldn't get that out of my mind. I mean, I've heard things like that many times before, but because it was just a simple request, in real, down to earth terms, it hit me in a way that the song, "Open the eyes of my heart Lord", never did. Essentially, it is saying the same thing, but different..yea, I know, I'm rambling! "Let me just see things from where you're sittin." He left, I took a deep breath, prayed for him, us, and then said it several more times... "Let me just see things from where your sittin, let me just see things from where your sittin." It was therapeutic to my mind, my soul, and my thoughts (the kind that want to keep me sad). Did it change my life, make me more spiritual, answer all my questions and make me happy...NO. But, it did, for a second, help me to see things from where He's sittin.

Giving the gift of self esteem is one of the best gifts to give your child...

I wanted to repost this for all you mommy's out there!
Meeting many people in the last two years has led me to a conclusion about life: Believing in yourself and who God has created you to be is a huge necessity to success in each journey. Almost every situation of low self esteem, addictions, social fears, and emotional problems can be traced back to childhood. Creating the opportunity for our children to develop a healthy positive self esteem is one of the best gifts we can give them. This truly is a gift that keeps on giving, to your child and through their personality to others. Training your child in the way THEY should go looks different for each child. Have fun and enjoy this great rewarding challenge we have!

The ability to adapt to life's changes is impaired when individuals hold themselves in low esteem. The development of self esteem is largely influenced by the perceptions of how one is viewed by significant others and it begins in early childhood. Here are some ways we can encourage positive self esteem in our children (Townsend, 2009) :

1. A Sense of Competence. Everyone needs to feel skilled at something. Warren (1991) states, "Children do not necessarily need to be THE best at a skill in order to have positive self esteem; what they need to feel is that they have accomplished their PERSONAL best effort."
2. Unconditional Love. Children need to know that they are loved and accepted regardless of success or failure. This is demonstrated by expressive touch, realistic praise, and separation of criticism of the person from criticism of the behavior.
3. A Sense of Survival. Everyone fails at something from time to time. Self esteem is enhanced when individuals learn from failure and grow in the knowledge that they are stronger for having experienced it.
4. Realistic Goals. Low self esteem can happen from not being able to achieve established goals. Individuals may set themselves up for failure by setting goals that are unattainable. Goals can be unrealistic when they are beyond a child's capability to achieve, require an inordinate amount of time to accomplish, and are based on exaggerated fantasy.
5. A Sense of Responsibility. Children gain positive self worth when they are assigned areas of responsibility or are expected to complete task that they perceive are valued by others.
6. Reality Orientation. Personal limitations abound within our world, and it is important for children to recognize and achieve a healthy balance between what they can possess and achieve, and what is beyond their capability or control. (Townsend, 2009)

Reference:
Townsend, M. DSN, APRN, BC (2009). Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing, Concepts of Care in Evidenced Based Practice: Sixth Edition, FA Davis Company, Philadelphia