his mercy reigns and his mercy RAINS

Today I stand in the hot, hot, lack of breeze, what feels like 100 degrees, sun at an outside gathering of churches and think..."How can we do this?" How do we, people who are truly passionate about God and who He is in our daily life, be a light to this world? It's not even, "How do we save them, or how do we get them to agree with us..." My hearts cry, as I raise high my hands to the open sky is this: How do we be a light, a hope, an answer?" As I stand there I am thinking of all my friends so dear. I am reminded of the lives of those around me that don't know the mercy side of God. So many people don't know the mercy side of God. They know the greatness, they know the rules, they know the pretty and not so pretty picture His church tries to paint, but they don't know the mercy. They have never opened the door just a crack to see it. They have never moved in to listen to its whisper. They have never let its great shield be their protector. They have never allowed its rock to be their shelter. As I stand before the open sky today, I am reminded once again that being a light is being a light in the darkness. We, the church, have to go to the darkness. We have to go to them. If we are not strong enough to go to them, we are not strong. We shout, "His mercy reigns" from our churches, from our home groups, from our gatherings...and yes, that is glorious! Right in the middle of the gathering a storm blew in, unaware and without warning a heavy rain shower began to fall, and fall, and fall. So, I began to think... His mercy also RAINS...it rains when they, the lost, are dry. It rains when they are hot, and weak, and have no strength to go on. It rains when they are in need of a drink of water because what once brought life and newness, now is bringing weariness and death. His mercy rains where THEY are. In their hard places, broken places, messed up relationships, confused theology, and carefree insanity. Do we, the church, believe it can rain in their places? You see, it's not always about His mercy reigning in our midst, like us believers like it to be. It's about His mercy RAINING, and raining on THEM in their places. Do we decide who gets the mercy rain? Do we, the broken, hurting, screwed up, selfish, judgemental, and close-minded people get to decide who we allow His mercy to rain on today? Do we get to control who gets to feel the benefits of a mercy rain making all things new? Do we get to manipulate the faucet to hot, cold, on and off? NO WE DON'T!! ....but we try. And for that, in this open sky, I am sad. I want the church... and me, to truly understand that we don't get to decide who gets the mercy rain and when. We don't get to control that! We don't get to be around the lost and wonder their fate. We don't get to choose to hold back. So, today as you think of those in your life who have never felt His raindrops of mercy, know this: He is calling you to take them by the hand and drag them out into the hot sticky sun and stand there. Stand there and wait. Hold them tight through the dryness, the suffocating feeling of heat, and the thirst. Hold them there....lift up your hands to the sky and hold them there, because the mercy RAIN is coming. It's coming because you, the one who loves Him, has been in the heat, has been through the dryness, has felt their thirst, with them. I want to stand in the mercy rain with someone who has never felt it before. I want to see their hands lifted high in the heat, believing in the unseen...and then feeling the unseen hit their life like a sudden rain shower in a dry and thirsty, hot and cracked, dessert of a life. To see this we must no longer be motivated by fear and think we get to control who gets the mercy RAIN. His mercy wants to rain on them all. He chooses, not us. So, today, I run to the darkness. I run to the lost. I risk the judgments of the religious. I risk the comfort of my box. I risk the looks of the afraid and I run into the heat, with another.. and I stand there, no matter how long it takes, I stand there. I stand there and I wait....because it's there, in the heat of the day, in that last moment of desperation that me, together with another, will feel His mercy RAIN. And now, standing there, one more person is ready, ready for the heat again.

Depression

When you are happy, but sadness fills my soul, I will lift up my eyes. As you rejoice in a place of comfort and I haven't felt the warmth of the sun, I will lift up my eyes. When my path, not yours, takes a painful turn I didn't expect, I will lift up my eyes. When you sit and smile at the future, but I can't see past today, I will lift up my eyes. The loneliness in my head screams louder than your room of relationships, so I will lift up my eyes. A heart of steadfastness I cannot find. So as you raise your hands high at the finish line, I will lift up my eyes. While your peace is like a river, my thoughts are like a storm; violent, unforgiving, and with a dangerous goal, so I will lift up my eyes. Confidence is the lifter of your head, and my shame drags me lower, and then lower still, so I have to, I have to lift up my eyes. A harvest you see, and I am glad for that, but for me, my hands are too tired to till the ground, so I will lift up my eyes. You can see and hear the fans. They are screaming words of strength and encouragement along your way. I see my sidelines. There are disappointed fingers, pointing, wondering where I am going as I lose my way, so I will lift up my eyes. You sing loud your songs of freedom, all the while I hear the clanging of these chains that grip so tight, holding my dreams down, far down, so I will lift up my eyes. Motivation and money hunt you down and find its funnel in you. Motivation and money hide from me, knowing this vessel is damaged, no good for abundance, so I will lift up my eyes. You see life through colors so glorious. I see those colors too, but I can't get to them, I can't touch them. I just want to touch them. Oh how I want to feel them, but I'm scared. I'm scared to look at life through bright colors, I fear disappointment will bring it's promise to shatter, it's promise to grow, it's promise to change me, so I will lift my eyes. Bravery is your power while fear is my whisperer; telling of the limits, the limits you don't see, you don't hear, so I will lift up my eyes. You dance on darkness and tear down it's agenda, while I taste it's plans for me, agree to it's plans for me... everyday, so I will lift up my eyes. In the middle of depression so real, so evident, so here, I will lift up my eyes. I will lift up my eyes. For where does my help come from? Where is my help found? In the middle of torture that lords from within where is my helper, where is my friend? I cry out ,where is my help? ...and then I hear it. I hear the words that are spoken to my heavy soul, and to the heavy souls of many. I hear these twelve words and I am made new, maybe not at once, but it starts. The newness starts when the small seed of redemption shouts louder than my depression. This redemption shouts, "My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth." ...and so I say it, until I believe it.