there are no words for this

We sit. The table so grand, yet intimacy tasted. We sit. This big bad world with it's deceptions and worries, so what is this peace before me, this peace we share? It is opposite of what rages nearby, so close. I can touch this war around me, in me, about me. I can hear the voices that long to drag me away, drag me away from this peace I taste, I feel, I touch. I don't have to ask where you are, or if you will come near. You are here. You are the silence that screams comfort, that pushes away worry, and demands shame to silence it's grip. You are the silent sound that reminds me, "I know all, and no one else has to know. No one else has to know what I have redeemed, what I have made new in you. But, we know." Your grace covers me, protects me, lifts me. You are this peace I need. This peace that freely gives and asks for nothing in return. For at this moment you want only me. Weakness, doubt, fear - they consume me; yet, you want me. Why would I not give in? Why would I dare to taste the rage and entertain the fools, when you are near? You are here, and you are...free. No penance to pay. No show to perform. You take me as I am. No one else does that. No one else takes me as I am and gives freely, gives goodness with no lines, no limits. When there is no one around, no one near... you are here, and you are true. You know I need this, and you provide. I need not this world. I need not these things. For in your arms I find myself in heaven's surrounding truth. In your arms I find myself connected to eternity and to those who know not time and it's walls. In your arms, your bride finds.... many joys unseen. In your arms, I know what matters, I know what's real. For in this moment I am surrounded by love. There are no words for this.

Seeing Again

I like to think this is what God sees when I am having a hard day, a distant season, a battle with thoughts, faith, and reality. I like to think that when darkness surrounds my days and my perspective that the truth of the matter is... this picture. I like to imagine that when blue and gray are my truth... color, life, light, and a clear vision are His. If this is what He sees, it gives me power. It gives me power to believe that even though I stand surrounded by darkness, by lack of vision, by weariness, and by unanswered prayers, this truth remains: His love covers. That even though I doubt His hand, question my truth, and feed my bitterness, even still, His love covers. His love is so grand that He declares it covering a multitude of sins. So with that truth my question is this: How can we judge ourselves so strong when His love is so forgiving? Why are we so intent on grabbing our brothers covering and showcasing their darkness when God is covering it, forgiving it, redeeming it? Oh Lord, I want to see what you see. I want to be where you are. I desire light to continue its journey on revealing the truth of matters, the hardness of my heart, the past lies I believed, the now lies I believe. I am forever growing, changing, and seeing again. I want to know you cover me, and I want to know you cover others. Perfection is not the condition. The straight and narrow is not the dictator. American republican clean cut living is not the combination. The church doors are not the pearly gates. He just covers. Thank God He covers.