WAIT,WHAT??

God is not in a box. God is not in a box of any kind. I know that and you know that. But even with that knowledge we allow life, it's disappointments, failures, changing beliefs, and selfish ambitions create boxes that we live by. Then, in our human experience we take our boxes and shove the Most High, King of Kings, Lord of Glory, and Father of All in those man made, wrapped in human understanding, boxes. What are my boxes? What are my comfortable wrappings made of? I am finding out. Its somewhat of a journey I am on with Him right now. Oh how I want my heart revealed. Oh how I want my thoughts, so small and fearful, to be challenged by a God that will do all it takes to lead me to freedom, to let me taste understanding, and hand over insight that liberates. Mike and I have not been able to settle our lives enough to find a church home, much less look for one. The summer was a blessing and a treasured time with family, making new friends, but in the middle of it all a church has not yet been found for us. I long for connection, I long for a place to be challenged, a place where people are there to serve, give, and support each other. I desire a place where I not only know others, but they know me, and know my children. I have had that. The taste of it is like none other. Having a dedicated family, that is not your biological family, is a feeling that is hard to describe to those who have never had it. So, here we are, settling in and beginning our search. In the search and passion for a family here, God has been such an amazing Father to my seeking heart. Holding on to only what I have to offer Him has been the glue that keeps me, the insight that frees me, and the truth that grounds me. And yet it has become what I have to offer Him that needs changed, needs His touch. He has been revealing to me in many ways that it's not what my talents can offer Him, it's not what my disciplines can offer Him, and it's not what other people can offer him because of me. It is so not any of those things. He wants to know if I am willing to place it all aside and offer Him my mind, my opinions, my beliefs... you know, the very things that set us apart from others. He wants me open to change. Open to a mind renewed. He wants my boxes. He wants my ways of thinking. I have been so set in my ways, so convinced of my truth that with enthusiasm and passion I "tag" Him there, in those places, wrapped in those boxes. Basically, there are so many areas that I have "tagged" His name, and... He's not there. He wants me to hand over the boxes, all of them. No church, not much support, changes and insecurities around, and now you want me to hand over the boxes I have you in?? Now is the time you want to reveal some hard truths to me?? So, He sheds light on a box. My response, "WAIT, WHAT? That's a box?" We have this joke in our family about the saying, "Wait, what??" The kids will say, "Wait, What?" when clearly they have heard what we said. We know this because without us giving a response to their "wait what?" they answer our question, or respond to our original statement. I have had a lot of "Wait, What?" moments with God over the past few months. WAIT,WHAT? THAT'S A BOX? With many of my boxes revealed He gently taps me on the shoulder, and whispers like a strong Father, "Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty." And, to me right now, liberty is being free of the boxes I have placed Him in. So many of these boxes I have labeled freedom, and yet, what was inside was anything but. What these boxes so pridefully display is a coward, selfish, fear filled religion. There is a judging box of puffed head and a pointing finger, but labeled humility and change. With my boxed in eye view they are pretty boxes, safe, decorated to my style, lavished with my passions and my opinions. And because of that they are filled with unholy untrue personalities of God. Oh how this box revealing has been tough, but I am learning, and always hope to be learning: Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is liberty. And this is not a human definition of liberty, because we all know that even in that scripture we place our values and our opinions. HA! ...and those change depending on the day of the week it is, who has pissed us off, or what all is going our way. OH MY GOD! SET ME FREE OF THESE BOXES! Help me believe, without doubt, that where your Spirit is, liberty engulfs. Join me today. Ask Him today to show you a box made by your hands, by your mind, in response to your wounded heart. He will. Maybe not right then, but He will. Why? Because, where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. It's about His Spirit bringing it, not by human creation. The liberty He brings, I long to have in fullness. Scales have come off just a little for me over the past few months. I have so far to go, but I have tasted, just a taste, of the liberty His spirit brings, and boy do I need more. Age forty is fast approaching for me and in so many ways I'm still a child. I continue to be a child that when told something that goes against what I feel, know, or have always believed, I say, "WAIT,WHAT??"