The Secret

It really isn't hard. You ask how to grow them up in me, for me, that they may not depart from me when they are older? You ask this day, and this is what I say:

"Teach them to cry out. Teach them to listen. Teach them to hear. When you teach them my presence, my presence becomes their own. My presence becomes their desire, their need. Their living water. My presence becomes what they can't do without. And when they can't do without my presence, they can't live without me. Teach them to hear and they will live with me. When they taste, they will see I am good. Offer to them what I say taste good; my presence."

It can never be taken away from them. Ever.

My Pokey

I am so proud of my oldest son. He has a heart of gold, loves God, loves his family, and has developed standards that will protect his journey and honor his first love. He has always been a great joy to us. His joyful and happy spirit, even as a child, got me through the most difficult time in my life as I lost my dad. He is my only baby that my dad got to meet and hold, of my children. It's funny how as an infant my dad called him "pokey" because he took so stinkin long to come out, and to this day he is slow at doing most things! HA! Mike and I were tested in our faith with him. When he was a little boy, he was speculated to have JRA, and we were very scared. We prayed, in fear, and I remember Mike and I saying together that we would love and serve God, no matter what the doctors said. That was hard. From his "Cover Girl" song to his little sister to his desire to drive, he has done nothing but bring pride to his dad and I. What does the future hold? Who knows? One thing I do know, nothing in life will catapult you into faith like having a son that sits on the edge of manhood. I want him to just "get it" and not have to go though all the crap it takes for the "get it" to come! I want him to know that being kind to others is always the best choice. I want him to know that jealousy and envy only keeps you from YOUR calling. I want him to taste the joy of being an answered prayer for a person in desperate need. I want him to see that hard work is not for others, but for God and His eyes only. I want him to know that the ones we push away, we always end up needing. I want him to feel the freedom of a debt free life. I want him to experience the amazing love that a husband and wife have and how when you think the love of two in one is the best ever...you have a child! I want him to know that the bible is filled with, get to's, freedoms, uncharted paths, wide open opportunities; not, boundaries, walls, rules, and not to's. I want him to have a guilt free soul when his head hits the pillow at night. I want his love for others to come before his love for things, always. I want him to see stuff as wasting away and not worth the striving, and character as an eternal gift that can be given to our Lord one day, everyday. I want him to know when to trust his feelings and when his heart is deceiving him most. If he could master what I have yet to get: That even a fool when he is silent is considered wise, it would save him so much grief. Oh if he could just get that horrible feeling of wrongdoing when gossip shows it's destructive self in a conversation. If right now, he could understand that what is freedom for one, may not be freedom for another...and THAT'S OK, he could be spared some pain. I will tell him to respect and open the door for his date, but I want him to know what that does in a young ladies heart - it raises her standards, allowing her to see what she deserves. If he could know that touching, hugging, and speaking words of life to those around you is the greatest gift we have - just ask the blind, deaf, paralyzed and sick. So much I want him to know, taste, see, get. But, it's not for him to know right now, at least not on my timing. Life really is all about the journey through understanding all these things, isn't it? I wouldn't want to take that journey away. For it's in the journey that we fall in love with our ever loving, ever kind, ever forgiving maker, right? So here I sit, along with so many others, the mother of a fifteen year old son, hoping and praying for his journey to be as painless as possible. But I must remember always, life isn't painless. Life won't be painless for him. I must release God to do what is needed for my son to taste all the above....and that will be hard at times. I must release my God, not only his, to help me lead him in the way he should go, so that in the end, he will not depart from it. For after all, that is the most important. And most eternal.

Isabelle and Lennon: Sundy's version of a Norman Rockwell Painting... I will call it, "The Guardian."

Two Types of Sunshine

There are two types of sunshine. There are those days that you know ahead of time that the forecast calls for a warm bright day, and then there are those days that it's a beautiful surprise. This picture represents both of those for me. One was in the forecast and the other was a warm ball of light dropped unexpectedly in our midst. "You will never regret obeying God," is what a friend said to my husband one day, and I must say in all areas of my life that is true. I have never regretted obeying God. So, if there is a tugging, pulling, aching, pushing, or gentle whisper telling you to do something, even something life changing, get counsel, but remember... HOPE does not disappoint us!

Giving the gift of self esteem is one of the best gifts to give your child...

I wanted to repost this for all you mommy's out there!
Meeting many people in the last two years has led me to a conclusion about life: Believing in yourself and who God has created you to be is a huge necessity to success in each journey. Almost every situation of low self esteem, addictions, social fears, and emotional problems can be traced back to childhood. Creating the opportunity for our children to develop a healthy positive self esteem is one of the best gifts we can give them. This truly is a gift that keeps on giving, to your child and through their personality to others. Training your child in the way THEY should go looks different for each child. Have fun and enjoy this great rewarding challenge we have!

The ability to adapt to life's changes is impaired when individuals hold themselves in low esteem. The development of self esteem is largely influenced by the perceptions of how one is viewed by significant others and it begins in early childhood. Here are some ways we can encourage positive self esteem in our children (Townsend, 2009) :

1. A Sense of Competence. Everyone needs to feel skilled at something. Warren (1991) states, "Children do not necessarily need to be THE best at a skill in order to have positive self esteem; what they need to feel is that they have accomplished their PERSONAL best effort."
2. Unconditional Love. Children need to know that they are loved and accepted regardless of success or failure. This is demonstrated by expressive touch, realistic praise, and separation of criticism of the person from criticism of the behavior.
3. A Sense of Survival. Everyone fails at something from time to time. Self esteem is enhanced when individuals learn from failure and grow in the knowledge that they are stronger for having experienced it.
4. Realistic Goals. Low self esteem can happen from not being able to achieve established goals. Individuals may set themselves up for failure by setting goals that are unattainable. Goals can be unrealistic when they are beyond a child's capability to achieve, require an inordinate amount of time to accomplish, and are based on exaggerated fantasy.
5. A Sense of Responsibility. Children gain positive self worth when they are assigned areas of responsibility or are expected to complete task that they perceive are valued by others.
6. Reality Orientation. Personal limitations abound within our world, and it is important for children to recognize and achieve a healthy balance between what they can possess and achieve, and what is beyond their capability or control. (Townsend, 2009)

Reference:
Townsend, M. DSN, APRN, BC (2009). Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing, Concepts of Care in Evidenced Based Practice: Sixth Edition, FA Davis Company, Philadelphia